Pension

The battle continues. Who was the first woman rector in Chicago? Who was the second? What does it really matter? Except maybe getting the timeline right. Odd. I remember Bp. Montgomery installing me as chaplain for UIC at Church of the Epiphany in 1984. And now there is no Episcopal chaplain at UIC. Nor is there a Church of the Epiphany. Nor am I able to walk without a walker. It is time to apply for my pension. 32 years. It is time.

There is much contention

About

Who was first

Or second

Or third.

I have no idea

Where I fit.

But then

This has always

Been the case.

It is time to claim

My pension.

It is time

To understand

First

Second

And third

Doesn’t matter

At all.

New Yorker

Accessibility. Poetry

I don’t know

Who chooses the poetry

In the New Yorker

Except I do know

It is most often

Inaccessible.

I still read

The cartoons first.

Some of them

Are funny.

Some require living

In New York.

Blueberries

Sometimes the turtle eats dog food. Still, he always eats blueberries.

The turtle stares

With gimlet eyes

Blueberries

He says

Blueberries

He thinks

Blueberries

He stares

Blueberries

Blueberries

Blueberries

We have learned

To hear turtle

And now

He is asleep.

Heck of a way

I know I lost weight spending a month in the hospital. I also know people mean well. I'd rather they said Good to see you or Have a seat or even how about lunch?

This was a heck of a way

To diet.

I don’t know

What size to purchase

Any more.

Nor do I know

What looks good

With a walker

And  AFOs

Much less

What size I am.

When people tell me

You’ve lost weight

Do I say

It wasn’t intentional

Or

Thank you

Or

Simply smile

And move on.

Nuns

Is it sacrilegious to think of nuns changing into their skivvies?

The nuns

As long as I can remember

Have always been

At the farmer’s market

Selling their baked goods.

They wear full grey habits.

Wool.

Yesterday it was

Almost 100 degrees.

They do not appear

To sweat,

Those nuns

In gray wool.

I certainly would.

I still wonder

If they have

Alternate habits

For different seasons

Or if they return home

And drink iced tea

Change into

The nun version

Of skivvies.

Lazarus

Sometimes these stories make no sense.

One healing story

After another

Lazarus

Unbound

Released

From the tomb

His sisters

Still angry

Jesus took so long

In getting there

Dragged his feet

I never did understand

They were all

Good friends

Lazarus

Martha

Mary

Jesus

Some things come

With no good explanation

Like this

Legion

Life with and without Legion. Life with and without Jesus.

If Jesus was able

To send Legion

Into those pigs

Have them jump

Like so many lemmings

Off the cliff

Why

He could do

Most anything

I tell you.

Some believed

Some didn’t

Some were angry

Some felt sorry

For the pigs

Some lost their livelihood.

But the man

That man

Who lost Legion

As a defining force

That man

Must have spent time

Learning how to be

Without Legion

Learning how to be

With Jesus.

So often

If I were preaching these days, this is what I would say...walking up to the pulpit with my walker.

So often

I find myself on that roof

Being lowered down

To Jesus

By friends

By my therapist

By people I never imagined

Could hold me

Even in a crowd.

So often

I realize

There is a hole

In that roof

And I

I am being lowered down

To Jesus.

Ash

Working to focus on saving the ash.

Sometimes

I only see dead trees.

There are a lot

Of dead trees.

We work to save

The ash tree

In our back yard.

We have hired

A company

To treat the ash.

Sometimes

We simply can’t

Go it alone.

Excursion

We find company everywhere.

Excursions

Everything counts

As an excursion.

In church today

There were three of us

With walkers.

One had a cool blue walker.

I was jealous.

Not that I want

A walker

At all

But blue

Is to be envied.

My church excursion

Came with company.

Now I rest at home.

I wait

For the next excursion.

All our cats have come from unknown sources

Cats often choose their owners. We know this to be true. Our giant gray cat cuddled up to each family member. He gave us no choice whatsoever. The whole shelter staff stood around and cheered that Juneau had finally found a home.

All our cats
Have come from
Unknown sources.
One appeared
On the doorstep.
One came out
From under a bush.
One was part of a litter
Found in the woods.
When we sought a kitten
From the shelter,
They showed us
A giant grey cat
No one would adopt.
We squeezed him
In the cat carrier
And took him home.

Discovery

Two desserts

I have discovered

Once again

That we all are different

As much as

We all are the same;

Breathe the same air;

Settle for Brussels sprouts

Maybe broccoli;

Long for dessert

Maybe even

Two desserts

One right after

The other.

We all are different.

We all are the same.

We breathe.

We settle.

We long.

Yes

We long.

Hissy fits

Turtle hissy fits

We all

Have hissy fits.

Right now

It’s the turtle’s turn.

He is crashing his food plate

Against the glass

Of his tank.

Blueberries are usually

His food of choice

But clearly

Not today.

Today

Blueberries

Offer no satisfaction.

He stares at me

As if I can read

His mind.

Preface

It never occurred to me.

My inbox is full

Every morning.

I sift and delete,

Read and save.

This morning

I was offered

Walt Whitman’s preface

To Leaves of Grass.

It had not occurred to me

There was a preface.

Leaves of Grass

Always stood

On its own.

No.

Preface there is.

There’s always a preface.

Some are worth considering.

Some not.

Still

There’s always a preface.

On Independence Day

More steps.

On Independence Day

I will strip the sheets

From the hospital bed

In the living room.

The next day

The bed will gone.

I will be on my way

To the next phase

Of physical therapy.

One more stage

Of independence

Panther

Years ago I dreamed of buying a black panther in the local Ace Hardware. He was on sale. The last one on the shelves. We wrestled him into the car and brought him home. I'm not sure another animal would be "my thing."

I don’t think

We get to choose

Our own spirit animals,

Yet some are still more appealing

Than others.

Years ago I dreamed

A black panther.

My beloved

Loves crows.

James Thurber wrote

about a unicorn

in the garden

He said

A unicorn 

Is a mythical beast

Like a dragon.

Panther

Years ago I dreamed of buying a black panther in the local Ace Hardware. He was on sale. The last one on the shelves. We wrestled him into the car and brought him home. I'm not sure another animal would be "my thing."

I don’t think

We get to choose

Our own spirit animals,

Yet some are still more appealing

Than others.

Years ago I dreamed

A black panther.

My beloved

Loves crows.

James Thurber wrote

about a unicorn

in the garden

He said

A unicorn 

Is a mythical beast

Like a dragon.