Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Kitten claws

The kitten skids
Across the coffee table
Lands on my bare legs
Claws extended.
I know
She means no harm
Just needs a place
To land.
My legs provide
A safe place
For her,
Just not
A good place
For me.
Now she sleeps.
It is time
For endless
Afternoon naps.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Kindness list

Some people seem to come at it naturally

I make a kindness list
People who know
What to say
In any
Given situation
Without a side effect
Of pity,
Without any edges.
Kind people.
Some emerged
Into this world
Some learned
From others.
I make a kindness list.
People who know exactly
What to say.
I am grateful
They exist.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Thick lines

Feeling a mite philosophical.

There is a thick line
Though perhaps
Maybe a finer line
What will come to pass
And now.
What is pessimism?
What counts
As realism?
Sign me up
For thicker lines.
There is more hope
In the thick.
The thin
The thin
Is thin.
There is more hope
In the thick
More substance
Give me thick
Any day.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Thick water

More on the hospital experience. I never knew there was such a thing as thick water.

Until I experienced
The horror
Of all liquids thickened
With cornstarch
And a speech therapist
Who refused
To give me
The swallow test
I learned the joys
Of clear cold water
A green salad
A speech therapist
Delighted to give me
The swallow test
After I fired
The first one.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Scenic overlooks

I am still learning to say thank you even when I haven't seen it myself.

On the way
To our destination
We passed several
Scenic overlooks.
We were in a shuttle
So we didn’t stop
To look over
At the purported
We had to take their word
For it.
We discussed
What scenic might be
In these cases
Having little idea.
Sometimes it’s important
To take someone else’s word
And  say
Thank you.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

We always said

And so the time has come. 

We always said
Even when the divorce loomed
Even when
We drove our son
Back and forth
Met at McDonalds
In Brighton.
We always said
Even when
The divorce was final
Each of us
With new partners
More children
In different parts
Of the country.
We always said
We always knew
If push came to shove
If shove came to push
We would be there
For the other.

Friday, August 19, 2016


I do my best not to jump ahead of things. One is good enough for now, 

Everything comes
In threes:
Even joy.
Threes I tell you
A somehow
Magic number.
I count now
I have only reached
Two more
To go.

Thursday, August 18, 2016


This time next week I will have finished step one... flown out to DC...had the first round of tests, met with the epileptologist at NIH, flown home, and awakened in my own bed. Daunting? Yes. I have a round of what ifs sifting through my brain.  What exactly will step two look like?

This is all daunting
Amazing daunting (who knew)
Who knew really knew?

Monday, August 15, 2016

Blue butterflies

Never knew such things came with tattoos.

So many choices.
In three weeks
My ankle/foot orthotics
Will arrive
With blue butterflies
On the ankles.
Almost like tattoos
Not quite.
I might have chosen
Black panthers
They were not
An option.

Friday, August 12, 2016


This feels like an odd new adventure. Who really knows what's inside anyone's skull?

And so
We will see
What comes next.
I add options as I go.
What was possible on Monday
Gains momentum here
On Friday afternoon.
The new possibility may well require travel.
Who knew my brain might prove
Aside from sermons and poetry?
So much hidden
Inside my skull.
So much hidden.
Who knew?

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Milk ring thrower

And now I deal with the second opinion. Having a kitten helps. Playing milk ring helps.

With the kitten
I watch the birds,
Play endless games
Of milk ring.
She does not
Consider me
She knows me
As a good
Milk ring thrower
Who will continue
To throw it again,
From wherever I sit.
She knows
I am good
At what I do.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Sleeping extra

Dreams never end.

I slept extra
This morning.
I had a dream
I wanted to finish.
People from the past
Grown older.
Young boys swimming by me
In the lake
Up north.
They  came
Out of nowhere
I slept extra
To finish the dream.
There is no such thing
As a dream

Friday, August 5, 2016


Getting my head wrapped around applying for disability is not an easy thing. I'm not really disabled, am I? I can't drive. I walk with a walker. I only had two seizures last year. Both were doozies. 

The west coast voice
Told me:
If you don’t apply for disability
There is no chance
You will get it.
This makes sense
I am not disabled.
Denial comes
In so many forms.
The west coast voice
A gentle voice
An understanding voice
Whose daughter
Had a seizure on a train
In London
During a bombing.
But that’s different
No it isn’t
One seizure a year
Is not ok
Denial comes
In so many forms.
If you don’t apply
There is no chance
You will get it.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016


Three ages (or more) all at once

My beloved claims
I am channeling
My inner twelve year old.
I am glad I am not six.
I think of Lily Tomlin
In the oversized rocking chair.
I think I am
Possibly three
Of twelve
Or even six.
Sometimes it is possible
To be three ages
Or more
All at once.