Loose clothes

Waiting for the lady in red, My beloved says he saw her last week, out back, waiting for the ducks.

The trees

Have finally loosed

Their clothes

To the ground.

Not to anthropomorphize

Them

But still

Their naked branches

Somehow

Now

Allow

More life

To be detected

More birds identified

More squirrels

And

Of course

The lady in red

Out back

Waiting to feed the ducks

When the snow

Finally comes.

Travel mug

Maybe next time I'll remember

Every travel coffee mug

Has a different device

To make it

Non-spill.

I learn

Every single one

By spilling it
Down my front.

Oh yes

I say

It’s that one.

Maybe next time

I’ll remember.

Maybe

Next time.

Thanksgiving 2016

When your mom is a priest it's rather shocking when she forgets to pray at Thanksgiving.

I hate to admit it

But

On Thanksgiving

We forgot to pray.

The presence of our son

Seemed prayer enough.

He was the one

Who noted the absence

Of prayer.

Don’t you pray

Anymore?

He asked.

We do.

We do.

We do.

So we prayed

Over turkey

Over cranberry sauce

Over mashed potatoes

Over sweet potatoes

Over salad with pomegranate

And grapefruit

And two kinds

Of dessert

With two kinds

Of whipped cream.

We prayed

For our daughter

Creating Thanksgiving

In Scotland.

Turkey soup

While the ginkgoes have gotten the idea, and dropped all their leaves, so many of the other trees around here have not gotten the idea.  Maybe the turkey soup will do it.

In two days

Another year begins.

I make turkey soup

In celebration

From Thanksgiving leftovers,

Figure out

Where we stored

The Advent wreath

Last year.

The trees have yet

To figure out

A new year is coming.

They may not be on

The church calendar.

I will open the doors

So the trees smell

Turkey soup.

Turkey soup is the aroma

Of a new year.

Ginkgo central

This was the week...just in time for Thanksgiving.

The road we take to church

Is filled with gold

Every spring,

Every fall.

Spring

It’s forsythia.

Fall

It’s ginkgo.

Almost as if

Everyone on Main Street

Got together

Decided

What to plant

Years and years and years

Ago.

Ginkgoes drop

All their leaves

At once.

Ginkgoes everywhere.

My beloved says

There’s a ginkgo central

In the air

Underground.

It says Now

Do it now.

Gold leaves dropped

Now

All at once.

No more gold

On Main Street

Until forsythia

In the spring.

Smart phone

More and more things are finding their voices these days

My cellphone

Spoke with no prompting

This morning.

Serves me right

For skipping church.

Voices have to come

From somewhere.

In truth

It wanted me

To speak

So it could recognize

My voice.

I’m not sure

I want to start a conversation

With a phone

No matter how smart

It is.

Some nights

Possibility of joy.

Weeping may spend the night

And some nights

Are really really long.

Dawn is mentioned

As a possibility,

A glimmer

Of joy.

We look

And look

And look

For the sun

To rise

So our vision

May return

So joy

Is once again

A possibility.

how many times

Sitting in my blue chair reflecting on a whole series of things, in the Church, in the world, in our country. Seventy times seven, Catharine, seventy times seven. More fatted calves.

I want to understand

Oh

Any number of things

But

I want to understand

How many times

After someone has left

And returned

Left and returned

That the welcome home

Means killing

One more fatted calf.

How many times

Before

World-weariness

Settles in

And enough

Is enough.

Oh

I know the right answer

Is seventy times seven

But still

How many fatted calves

Are too many?

Collapsed

This was the year we had an Ethiopian guest. We aimed to show her an American Thanksgiving. She brought a side dish made with teff. The turkey, well, the turkey, was not a hit; The teff, on the other hand, was fine.

One year

The turkey collapsed

In the oven.

I have never seen

A turkey collapse.

We picked pieces

Off of it

Dry.

To tell the truth

We had started eating

Everything else

Then remembered

The turkey.

Poor thing.

Poor us.

The only recourse

Was soup.

Tremors

Wow. Tremors everywhere...here. there, everywhere

The side effect

Of the newest medication

Helps me realize

Everything

Has a tremor

Even me.

We think

We’re immune

To such things.

Side effects.

Most times

We don’t notice.

Even the earth

Shakes.

Tremors

Sometimes so minute

We miss them.

Still they’re

Side effects

Even the earth

Even me.

Bird family

When we're out watching the cranes fly south, the woman across the street comes out and asks us What are those? We tell her, excitedly, those are sand hill cranes!, Oh, she says, and then goes inside. Hers is not a bird family.

Our house is filled

With birds.

We are

A bird family.

We watch the starlings

Lined up

On the telephone wire.

We listen to the sand hills

Veeing

Overhead

South to New Mexico.

We are a bird family

Birds inside

And out.

We even have birds

In the bathroom

So we don’t forget

We are

A bird family.

Safety pins

I aim to be part of the "Safety Pin Movement" to show I aim to be a safe person to sit and talk with for those feeling fearful in these times. I realize I talked in my own therapy about just this subject. I am working to figure out what's next for me. I think it involves safety pins.

Sitting here

With my walker

And ankle braces

Cogitating whether Walgreens

Carries safety pins,

Maybe the hardware store

Which is a few steps

Closer.

I measure things

By steps

These days.

Yes

One pack

Of one hundred

Safety pins.

Maybe they deliver.

Comfort food

What's your version of comfort food?

Every family

Has its own version

Of comfort food.

Ours is macaroni and cheese

Passed down at least

From my mother,

Now to my children.

It is time now

For macaroni and cheese,

Made just right

With a smidge

Of Worcestershire sauce.

Comfort food

In Chicago

In St. Paul

In Santa Fe

In Scotland.

Comfort food

Travels the world

With each one

Of us.

Thailand

Ah, dreams.

I dreamed

I moved to Thailand.

Not that I know much

About Thailand

Except a friend,

His wife and twins.

They live there now.

They counsel missionaries

From all over Asia.

I dreamed

I moved to Thailand.

Everyone played

With paper balloons,

Red and orange and yellow.

Dreams

Are interesting things.

They change reality

To make it

Livable.

Nasty woman

Yep

In honor of Election Day

I name myself

A nasty woman

Me

A girl from the streets

Of

South Minneapolis

Me

Still trying to figure out

Who I will be

When I grow up

Me

In honor

Of Election Day

I claim Nasty Woman

In the best possible sense

Of the term.

Skipping

I will not stand on my head or skip.

I figure out new things,

New ways to do

New things.

When I had

Seizure number one

I stood on my head

To see if it was possible

To bring on

Seizure number two.

It wasn’t.

Now I have braces

And a walker.

I wonder if it is possible

To skip

With a walker.

This time

I will not try.

They’re not called walkers

For nothing.

I will also not try

To stand

On my head.

Welcome

Waiting long enough to hear.

Every day

We decide

Who and what

We will welcome

Into our hearts,

What and who we will allow

In.

Sometimes it takes

Longer than a day.

Sometimes

It takes one particular word

We could never

Have predicted,

A word we won’t know

Until it is said

Out loud,

And we stay in one place

Long enough

To hear it.

Every day we decide

And then

We decide again.

Lavender mist

I understand smell is the only unmediated sense we have. It goes directly to the brain. This morning I woke up with lavender and thoughts of my daughter in Scotland. Maybe I should be smelling heather, but I do not know if heather has a smell. Instead I smell lavender and go to find the lavender spray.

I lie in bed,

My eyes shut,

The covers pulled tight.

I smell lavender

Even though

There is no logical place

The smell comes from.

I remember my daughter

Now in Scotland.

She sprays lavender mist

When she is here.

I smell lavender.

I go in search

Of the bottle of lavender spray

So I can continue

Remembering.

Video EEG

Nothing like being videotaped for one week straight. Oh yes, I did get a couple showers, but then the wires were reattached. I am glad to be home.

I spent a week

On camera.

I imagine

They have taped over it

By now

With pictures

Of the next patient.

This Minnesota girl

Wondered what exactly

They saw

At the nurses' station,

What squiggly lines

Matched which pictures

Of me in the bed,

Awake

And asleep.

I am glad

The video has moved on

To the next patient

And I am home.

First mouse

Accomplishments must be named where we find them.

First mouse.

We celebrate

With her.

The grandfather cat

Left his first mouse

On top of the dryer

Headless.

She wanted us to see it

Alive and moving.

The mouse

Scooted out the door.

Oh she was disappointed,

Has been looking for it

Ever since.

We think a second mouse

May be

In the offing.