NIH

I'm not sure I can even begin to describe this experience. I will write my way through it, but there will most likely be fewer blog entries.

Here

They look at

The whole body.

I am not just

On a video monitor.

Here I am more

Than a woman

With epilepsy

Even the radiologist

Sees my AFOs

Asks questions.

Here everything

Is connected

To everything else.

More sense

Before the day is fully defended.

Does it make more sense

To write

While dreams still cling,

While first thing noticed

Is the squirrel hanging

From the bird feeder

As he drops seeds

To the cardinals

Below?

Does it make more sense

To write

While kitten and grandfather cat

Sleep together,

Until they wake up,

Become aware

Of what they symbolize:

Lion and lamb

Peaceful kingdom

Before they go their separate ways?

Does it make more sense

To write

Before the day

Is fully defended?

Sometimes doggerel

Different rhythm these days.

Morning:

My beloved reads the comics

Out loud.

I write:

Sometimes doggerel,

Sometimes not.

The kitten chirps

At a light spot

On the wall.

I write:

Sometimes haiku,

Sometimes not.

Another bird

Has found the thistle seed,

It may be a goldfinch.

In winter

It is not gold.

I write:

Sometimes brief,

Sometimes briefer.

I wait for the goldfinch

To show its colors.

My beloved laughs

Out loud.

I write.

Create your own binders

Sometimes things are best heard in threes.

Create

Your own binders.

Open them up.

Let the pages fly.

Let the words loose

Into the world.

They are your voice.

They are your hands.

Open them.

They are not meant

To be contained

Anywhere.

Keep practicing.

Drive (if you can).

Walk (if you can).

Write (if you can).

Create your own binders

No matter what.

Open them.

Open them.

Open them.

Let them go.

Let them go.

Let them go.

Do not leave them behind.

Leave them forward.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Sometimes things are best heard

In threes.

Reflected back

I never know what will come back.  I just know something will.  Even from Thailand.

I write,

Then discover things

Reflected back.

I write.

It begins a conversation

Ongoing

Ongoing

More than I could ever

Imagine

At the beginning.

I write.

It begins something

Somewhere in Thailand

(yesterday)

I know not how

Or what

I just know it has begun

Again.

Like me.

Today.

This space

Sometimes a space is more than a space.  Sometimes something is holy, not by anything we do or say, but really only because God has chosen to inhabit it boldly.

I write this for you

My client who is not here  

Today.

I write this for you

My therapist who is also

Not here

And never will be.

I write this for me

For all who have been here,

For all who will be here,

For me who sits

Calm and quiet in this space

I have made;

In this space

I have loaned.

This space

Is more than an office.

This space

Holds so much more

Than I can name.

I write this for all

Who share it

And even for all

Who won’t.