Now is later

Still working on the puzzle.  Last night I dreamed about hopeful things, a rather odd assortment of hopeful things.  I know they fit in the puzzle, somehow.  Some of them seem to touch on being edge pieces.  I figure I'll find out eventually.

I wake up and remember pieces

I placed aside::

Not quite sky

Not quite ground

Not quite edge

Except maybe

One of those barely edge pieces

That only touches

The area outside the puzzle.

I dreamed

Whole conversations

Woke up and saw things

I left out,

Put aside for later.

Apparently now

Is later.

I pour another cup of coffee

A warmer for my daughter

In the other room.

Now is later.

Edges and sky

Years ago, I remember my beginning therapy sessions, and the therapist likening therapy to dumping the puzzle box, and looking at the pieces.  We have moved on to other metaphors since, but I find myself coming back to the jigsaw puzzle, figuring out which pieces fit, and which belong in someone else's jigsaw puzzle box.  I am trying to keep the edges and the sky, the important parts.  The rest, as always, fills in as it does.

Too many pieces

Of the puzzle.

I sit in the blue chair

Figure which pieces

Can be left

Out of the puzzle

Until January,

Which ones

Will not fit

At all.

I do not want to lose

The edge pieces.

I would like to include

The sky,

The upness and outness

Of things.

There will be other opportunities

To come.

Some opportunities

Will never come again.

I try to keep

The edges and sky.

Today is for sifting

Today is a day I reclaimed for myself.  I could have attended Clergy Conference.  It would have been the first time in three or four years.  I have always enjoyed reconnecting with colleagues.  Clergy Conference was always at a very familiar place.  Now it's not.  Nothing wrong with that, just too much new for now.  Maybe next year.  Today is for sifting.

I am not adding

Any more information

To this day.

I am not meeting

Anyone new

Or old,

Unless I count

As old yet new.

Today requires nothing new.

Today is for sifting.

Today is for reclaiming

An order to things.

Today is for finding out

Whether this particular puzzle piece

Is part of the sky,

Part of the landscape,

Or perhaps a piece

Of the edge.

Sofa cushions

I am surprised at how much we can find buried in the sofa.  One of my clients talked this week about losing her cell phone and finding it after much searching, along with two remotes, under the sofa cushions.  It*s amazing what can be buried and found under the sofa cushions.

Good things

Hide under the sofa cushions.

That is to say

You never know

What you may have lost there

Since you last looked.

Sometimes it*s something

You hadn*t even missed

Then

There it is!

You know it is a puzzle piece,

A part of the sky

You*d lost track of,

A cloud perhaps,

Even a dark one with lightning,

Forking in jagged streaks.

There it is:

The piece of sky which connects

Two other pieces of sky.

It*s been so long

Since you worked on that puzzle

You didn*t even know the piece

Was missing.

More sky

I remember when I began therapy and the therapist likened the beginning sessions to dumping out the puzzle pieces.  In my jigsaw puzzle days,  I learned to find the edge pieces first.  Today I am working on the sky.  Of course it*s entirely possible my sky plans may defer to the black sticks of the elderberry bush in the garden bed.  Sky may come tomorrow.

Puzzle pieces on the dining table.

From time to time

The cat bats one or two under a chair.

I am in need of more sky

A cloud or two,

A particular shade of blue,

A hint of gray to match

The hint of gray

On the piece I hold.

By this time

The edges are pretty much

In place:

Boundaries.

Today I work on the sky.

It bleeds from steel gray

To blue

To white.

The sky goes to ground

Blends with the snowscape.

There is no picture on the box,

In fact

No box anymore.

Just the Tupperware container

In its place.

I need more pieces of sky.

This morning I work

On the sky,

Unless of course it goes too quickly

To ground:

The elderberry bush

Black sticks in the garden bed.

It may be green

Come spring.

Today I need more sky.

There must be more pieces

Of sky.