Search me out

Psalm 139 has always been a favorite of mine.  I love the poetic language, and the picture of God who has had me in hand from the beginning, even knit me together in my mother*s womb.  In reading and praying it this morning, I realized anew that we often skip verses 18-23 in our corporate worship.  In these last verses we move past the poetry of description, and into petition and surrender.  Surrender is not quite so easy to take as the image of God knitting us together in our mother*s womb.  Try me and know my restless thoughts... indeed.

Search me out, O God, and know my heart;

Try me and know my restless thoughts.

                                                Psalm 139:22 (BCP, p. 795)

When I listen more closely,

The beautiful words are much more

Than poetry:

You trace our journeys

And our resting places.

If we take the wings of morning,

Or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

You are there.

You are the One

Who knit each of us together

In our mother*s womb.

It is so easy to be lulled

By the poetry.

You are the God who knows everything

Sees everything

Hears everything.

We have no secrets from you.

When we look more closely

The poetry carries beauty, yes,

Accountability, yes,

And

Surrender.

Know our hearts, God.

Know our restless thoughts.

They are plenty restless.

Try us.

We are trying

To surrender.