grocery cart

More new skills

I drove a grocery cart

On Sunday

Low to the ground

I’m new to this

I said

To those

Who looked at me

Quizzically

I’m new to this.

I remember sitting in rehab

Last month

Talking about this very thing.

My compatriots

Looked at me

Quizzically.

Judgment

This began as a haiku, yet I soon found each word needed its own line.

So often next steps

Remain unknown

Yet others

Find them

Abundantly

Perfectly

Clear.

Sister

Looking forward to Janie's visit!

My sister

She is coming

From her tiny house

In New Mexico.

Me

I am here

Waiting

With my walker

And tongs

And more pills

Than I have ever taken.

The ankle braces

Remind me of Forrest Gump

Run, Catharine, Run.

My sister

She is coming

From her tiny house

In New Mexico.

I am waiting.

Tongs

When independence wanes

I carry my tongs

Everywhere.

They pick up clothes and books

Newspapers.

They throw my UTOs

One at a time.

They allow

The possibility

Of one more bit

Of independence

When independence

Wanes.

Summer solstice

More than necessary

It’s summer

The solstice

I subtract the things

Which call forth

More

And more

And more

Than necessary

Summer solstice.

Father's Day

Kitten has given up, but grandfather cat is still twitching his tail. Hopeful?

Grandfather cat would prefer

Not to play

His grandfather part

On this Father's Day.

The kitten

Has been banished

With a hiss

And the swish of a tail.

This is

Of course

Until the kitten returns.

The kitten always does

Return

And sometimes

Often enough

The grandfather cat

Changes his mind.

Left foot

Moving on.

I have figured out steps.

When I get to the top

Or the bottom,

I cheer.

These

Are challenging times.

Everything accomplished

Deserves

Some sort of accolade.

I find myself

Cheering on my left foot

In particular.

You go, foot,

I say,

You go.

Soundtrack

We tease

My beloved and I

That if life only came

With a soundtrack

We would know exactly

What was coming

No

Life is way too

Unpredictable

For a soundtrack

Unless

Unless

We figure out

How to hear music

In all we hear

The purring cat

The wind in the trees

The underlying current

The understanding it’s not

All about us

Really

The soundtrack is meant

For everyone.

Flag Day

Hoping for different times. Praying for working feet.

I notice someone

Finally took in the flag

From Flag Day.

Not me.

I was also

Not the one

Who put it out.

I cannot do

Those extra things

Which require feet

For the time being,

For the time

In the foreseeable future,

For the time which threatens

To be forever

Maybe always.

Comfort dogs

I do not know who came up with the idea of comfort dogs. It's brilliant. Comfort dogs would be a good idea all over the world.

They are sending

Comfort dogs

To Orlando

From all over

The country

They wag their tails

They are happy

To be there

Maybe for a scritch

Behind the ears

A lick in return.

I have two comfort cats

They mostly

Curl up on the bed

Still

Ours is an established

Relationship.

The next step

Ah rehab. Who knew it came in so many parts? 

The next step will begin

In a week.

I imagine I will do more balancing,

More climbing stairs.

There is work

To be done

Always more work

To be done

And then some more.

I will breathe

I will climb

I will balance

I will drink water

I will sit

I will do these

All over again.

The next step

Will begin

Next week

Catch belt

I am thinking of buying a pastel wardrobe that matches my catch belt,

Leaving the hospital

I was gifted

With my own catch belt

As well as the walker.

I am grateful

To be caught

When I am falling

I watch

So much I've missed. So much to take in.

I watch

I listen

So much I’ve missed

So much to take in

So much

So much

So much

I go slowly

Fast is not an option

She vacuums

Around the walker

And the grandfather cat

I watch

I listen

So much

To take in

So much

So much

So much

My beloved reads

Upstairs with the kitten

I go slowly now

Fast is no longer

An option

I watch

I listen

There are more options

Than fast or slow

I watch

I listen

Feet at rest

Me and the cats. We are all praying. The sun has just come out. It's amazing the difference a little sun makes

Feet at rest

On a pillow

No pain for now

Me and the cats

Me and the walker

Me and the hospital bed

Me and what seems a plethora

Of pills

Me and so many people

To pray for

While my feet

Are at rest

On a pillow

Me and the cats

And the walker

And the hospital bed

Even maybe the pills

Praying

All of us

In prayer.

We all

Each of us

Offer our prayers

In different ways.

Coffee habit

Wow. Not even interested in Starbucks.

The coffee habit disappeared

In the hospital.

It has not returned.

I rather miss it.

The warmth

In my hands

Oh

I know

I can replace it

With other things,

Herbal tea

Even hot water

With lemon.

I am not ready

To replace it

Yet

With anything.

Some things take time

Origami crow

It is my beloved's birthday. He is sleeping in because that is one of his favorite things to do. I am grateful I bought his birthday present in March, before all Hell broke loose. He is a particular fan of crows. All birds really. But crows in particular, This is part of his present as well. One I can still give in the aftermath of Hell appearing.

I want to get back

To writing every day

Somehow

Writing every day.

It doesn’t quite matter

What I say.

Today is the birthday

Of my beloved

I bought his present

Before all Hell

Broke loose.

Did I know something?

I lie in the rented hospital bed

With his present

Displayed on the bookshelf

In front of me

An origami crow

Made of recycled barbecue grills

Found on Brighton Beach

Even though we vowed

Not to collect any more

Things

At this stage in our lives.

How could I resist

An origami crow

Made

From recycled barbecue grills

Collected on Brighton Beach?

I bought it and gave it

Before

All Hell broke loose.

Did I know something?

More learning

Yep. Amazing. Both cats are now sitting next to each other staring out the front window. Kitten with her cone, perfectly calm,

The grandfather cat moves

Slowly

To his food dish.

He enjoys a mouthful

Now and again.

The kitten was fixed

She has five more days

In the cone of shame

As the occupational therapist

Calls it

Me?

I’m still learning the walker

And stairs…

And stares

When we go out to eat

I elected no church today

I have more days of moving slowly

More kitten days

In the cone of shame

And stares

And direction

Not to let this

Rule my life

Even though this

Is not where they

Are living.