Lightbulbs

Figuring out the littler things to be grateful for. Now we have more light, thanks to my Beloved.

My Beloved replaced

All the burned-out lightbulbs.

It is amazing

What comes clear

With more light.

I know

Not so amazing

Really.

Still

With feet that barely work

I couldn’t do it.

I am grateful

As I watch him

On the ladder.

Grateful

I tell you

Even as I know

This is an odd topic

For a poem.

Catch belt

I am thinking of buying a pastel wardrobe that matches my catch belt,

Leaving the hospital

I was gifted

With my own catch belt

As well as the walker.

I am grateful

To be caught

When I am falling

Awake for the day

Beautiful day.

Awake to consider the day.

Cats warm

In the sun,

Messages on the phone,

People have been at work

While I slept.

Soon my beloved will call

From Florida.

As I slept,

He flew.

I wait to hear

He landed.

We are warm

In the sun:

Me and the cats,

Coffee in the pottery mug

With the broken handle:

It warms my hands.

Warm is today’s theme.

I am grateful

For all of it.

Mostly grateful

Today my beloved explains my seizures to the folk I work with. The time has come. For this very private person, I am not looking forward to it. Still... I am mostly grateful.

In the midst of this life

My friends respond

As I know they will

My family comes in swinging

As I know they will.

In the midst

Of this life

There are always those

Who can be counted on

For an atta girl

For a prayer

For a cup of coffee.

Dare I say

There are also those

Who have never been there

In times like these.

Still I have learned

To give them the opportunity,

Then move on

From there.

In the midst of this life

I am grateful.

Mostly grateful.

Today the list is small

Today I hang out with the cats in the sun. I am grateful for both.

Today the list is small:

Write this,

Whatever this is.

Take the morning pills.

Eat breakfast.

Drink coffee

From the sunflower mug.

Watch the kitten.

Consider the sun.

Consider it again.

Familiar

Five minutes now, then out the door.

And so this morning

In exactly fifteen minutes

I will leave to drive

To my familiar Wednesday place

On familiar Wednesday roads.

The light is not too much

Nor is it

Too little.

I must pay attention

To such things

These days.

And so

In eleven minutes now

I will leave to drive

My familiar car

On familiar Wednesday roads.

This is what it is

I am grateful for this beginning return

In nine minutes now.

Instead of going back to sleep

Amazing how much clearer the world appears when I do not turn over and go back to sleep. My usual Wednesday morning routine is different this week. I do not have my usual 9 AM appointment because I have no way to get there. My daughter is gone now. Instead of going back to sleep, it's me and the cat... in the sun.

Instead of going back to sleep,

I get up.

The morning is crisp.

I accompany the daughter

Before the cab arrives.

Instead of going back to sleep

I write this.

My head is clear.

The daughter is now gone.

The sun shines.

Instead of going back to sleep

I have three un-programmed hours

To accompany the cat.

He is grateful.

Three hours

To be whelmed in the sun.

Instead of going back to sleep

I am gracefully awake

Whelmed in the sun

Accompanying the cat

Just the two of us.

Frozen blueberries

I woke up with more humor this morning. I am grateful.

The ten pounds

Of frozen blueberries

Arrived during Spanish class

Last week:

Berries azules.

I divided them

Into twenty manageable bags

Of two cups each.

This morning the Groupon offer arrives

For twenty units of Botox.

I know what to do

With the blueberries.

Envious

Sometimes envy catches us unawares.

This morning I am envious

Of the priest with ALS

Who died way too young,

Yet led the first half of the service

With mechanical voice

And a turn of her head

Two weeks before she died.

Really

I find myself envious

Of what that woman did

Of who that woman was

Of the inspiration she offered

To many.

This morning

I am amazed

At the envy I feel

Of that priest with ALS.

Really?

Really?

Not everything has to relate

To me.

Really

It is possible simply

To be amazed

To be grateful

To be thankful.

It is possible simply

To leave it at that.

Room

With thanks to Liz Meade and her musings today on the Annunciation.  http://meademusings.blogspot.com/

May every space in our life be declared holy space.

I am grateful

For the blue chair

The blanket

My first client who cancelled

Today.

I pray she will heal.

I am grateful 

For time to drink coffee,

Notice the sunshine.

No one else is here.

I am grateful for an empty space

Like Mary’s

Which has room

For God to fill.

Word

I am grateful for oh so many things.  Today I am grateful for time and experience among charismatic and evangelical folk in whose company I learned what being asked for a "word" might mean.  This may or may not apply to you.  If it does, Amen.  If it doesn't.  Amen.

This may apply to you

Or not.

I realize I wonder

About the reader

Before I begin writing,

Just like I used to title things

Before I began

The reflection.

I thought I knew

Where it would go.

So

This may or may not

apply to you.

Yesterday

My client asked me

For a word,

One word to carry her

Through the month.

I considered the request.

Sure enough

The word came.

The word was delivered.

This may apply to you

Or not.

Here it is.

Crises

So many crises... some of them mine. Even last night's dreams had me flowing from crisis to crisis.  I am grateful for coffee and breathing and beginning again.

It is only Tuesday

Ten or twenty crises

Have arisen,

Been vanquished

This week alone.

Who knows what tomorrow

Will bring?

I am so grateful

That the dreams last night

Were only dreams.

I sit in recovery

Coffee in hand

I marvel at the fact

I am alive.

I breathe in,

Exhale,

Begin again.

Whoa

Perhaps I should title this "Challenge."  Whoa seems more true.  This is not my challenge.  These are not my regrets.  I have broken many rules, and sent many regrets.  I am grateful for the times I was not caught.  I remember sitting in my mother's living room, me, a divorced mother of one. She named for all to hear how, as a child,  I always owned up to what I did wrong.  She used an example which I vividly remember was a lie, a creative lie, but a lie nonetheless.  I confessed, to the entire family's surprise.  I admit... I rather enjoyed the surprise.  I got away with a lot growing up, at least I think I got away with a lot.  This side of parenting, maybe they knew a lot of it all along.

Whoa. A new challenge.

Regrets must be sent today

For some rules broken.