Mostly grateful

Today my beloved explains my seizures to the folk I work with. The time has come. For this very private person, I am not looking forward to it. Still... I am mostly grateful.

In the midst of this life

My friends respond

As I know they will

My family comes in swinging

As I know they will.

In the midst

Of this life

There are always those

Who can be counted on

For an atta girl

For a prayer

For a cup of coffee.

Dare I say

There are also those

Who have never been there

In times like these.

Still I have learned

To give them the opportunity,

Then move on

From there.

In the midst of this life

I am grateful.

Mostly grateful.

You might be Jesus

Have you thought...

Have you thought

You

Might be Jesus

For the next person

You run into?

You

Might be Jesus

For the ants you save

By leaving the anthill

Alone.

You might be Jesus

By noticing the yellow flower

On the weed blooming

Next to the back door.

You

Might be Jesus

When next you say

Yes.

You

Might be Jesus

In the next

Well-placed

No.

The opportunities to participate

Are endless.

You might be Jesus

Absolutely anywhere

At all.

List: Take one

I used to be able to do most anything.  OK, not anything.  I will never be a mountain climber, for example.  The list I write about has to do with what I used to be able to do, comfortably.  Now I am forced to pare down the list.  I am 58.  Somehow I had it in my mind that such paring-down came at age 70.  Why 70?  Well, it seemed somehow... older.  I found myself sitting with a client last week who has had to pare things down in his early fifties.  Several health/life things happened to him in the last three years.  Right.

The list

Of what I can no longer do

Has grown longer and faster

In the last three years.

Every item is check-marked

By the life I live,

By those I love.

There are things

I can no longer do,

Paths I can

No longer take.

Items on the list

Are highlighted

In fluorescent yellow

As opportunities

Present themselves

For viewing.

April

I told the people at the interview that I was flexible.  I really am... mostly.  Truth is that I also like some order to my life.  Everything does not need to be neat and tidy, but I do appreciate some order.  It seems I am still learning flexibility, and working to translate it into new opportunities.  I am the master (mistress?) of putting the best spin on things.  Still, from time to time, I need to sit and breathe, maybe just consider the very next thing... even call to fit in a haircut between clients.

When I flipped the calendar

To April,

I found eight cross-outs

Already.

The exchange student arrives

A week earlier than I thought.

He will stay for two weeks

Not ten days.

I work my way

Into a hospitable  

Frame of mind.

My Tuesday evening client has moved

To Thursday.

The more leisurely drive

To Minnesota

On the First of May

Has moved to the less leisurely Second.

I still wait to hear about a possible job.

I take a deep breath

And another one.

I rearrange the month around

Cross-outs

Write-ins

What-ifs.                                 

I continue to work out

Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I breathe in.

I breathe out.

I hold what is next

In front of me.

I call to get a haircut

Between clients today.

I breathe in.

I breathe out.

Wealth

Wow.  Today I officially began volunteering at DCC.  I have five clients transferred from the interns who just left.  I saw one today.  There*s a possibility I*ll see all five next week.  When I think about it, I am not surprised at the wealth of opportunity available to me, and yet, still, that wealth amazes me.

  

I am overwhelmed and

It is only Monday afternoon.

A wealth of opportunity sits

In the chairs

At the DuPage Community Clinic.

I have already forgotten the names

Of every volunteer

I met there this morning.

I drive home and

A wealth of opportunity

Stands on every street corner.

 A wealth wanders the fruit and vegetable aisles

Of Valli Produce,

Speaks in languages I can scarcely identify

About food I have no idea

How to cook.

I am glad no one is home yet

But me and the cat

And the turtle asleep

In his water dish.

Soon wealth will arrive home from school.

She will bring even more opportunity

Through the door.