Whoa

Perhaps I should title this "Challenge."  Whoa seems more true.  This is not my challenge.  These are not my regrets.  I have broken many rules, and sent many regrets.  I am grateful for the times I was not caught.  I remember sitting in my mother's living room, me, a divorced mother of one. She named for all to hear how, as a child,  I always owned up to what I did wrong.  She used an example which I vividly remember was a lie, a creative lie, but a lie nonetheless.  I confessed, to the entire family's surprise.  I admit... I rather enjoyed the surprise.  I got away with a lot growing up, at least I think I got away with a lot.  This side of parenting, maybe they knew a lot of it all along.

Whoa. A new challenge.

Regrets must be sent today

For some rules broken.

Change in rules

I don*t remember when I last slept in so late.  My daughter and her friend have now gone back to the weekend Concert of the Year.  It*s me and the cat (and turtle) again.  And coffee.  I wonder whether the caffeine rule needs to changed to No coffee after 2:00 PM.  I watch the sparrows take a dust bath in the planter out front.  I may go to IKEA later today.  Then again... maybe tomorrow.

There is little

Like a house of women

Asleep.

The cat goes from room to room

All morning

Meows at each door.

There is little

Like a quiet house

On a Saturday

Now after noon.

The other women have left

To take the train

To the City.

I am home in the cool

With the cat.

I break the rule

No caffeine after noon

Because I did not arise

Until 11:45.

The rule today

No coffee after 1:00.

Maybe

No coffee after 2:00.

It is rare:

A house of women

Asleep.

It begs a change

In rules.

New license to drive

Today I can drive.  I will most likely make the grocery store run this afternoon, drive to my volunteer job tomorrow morning.  By myself.  No radio.  Today, maybe all week, maybe all month, I will consider myself a new driver.  Learn again the privilege.  I hope I may not have to do this again.  This time around, I know there is the possibility that things might change... any minute. I hope not.

With this new year

Comes driving.

Today it*s not about

Speed,

But rather

A week or two

With new rules.

This week

When I drive

I will be the only one

In the car.

A week or two, perhaps three,

With different rules,

A new license

To drive.

New year.

New beginning.

This Sunday in church

We light the hope candle

On the Advent wreath.

Perhaps the new rules

Will last an entire season.

Perhaps

This time around

Things will be different.

I certainly hope so.

I should have known

Things have a way of repeating themselves.  Still... I was not expecting the foray into professional counseling would bear such a startling resemblance to the ordination process.  It seems I will have to follow a different path here as well.

I should have known:

This foray into licensing

With rules that change regularly

Regarding

What counts,

How to count,

And who does

The counting;

This foray

Is strangely reminiscent

Of the way things were counted

In my twenties.

Thirty years later

I recognize the boundaries

Of this potter*s field.

Here

There are even fewer things

That count.

Yes, I should have known.

Clearly

I should have known.

Learning the rules

I*ve been an intern (second time around) for over a month at the halfway house.  There are rules at the halfway house... for the guys who live there... sure... but also rules for interns, rules for head residents, rules for counselors.  I continue to learn the rules here.  When I have questions, I ask them (that*s rule #1 for interns... a good thing for me)  Sometimes it is tempting to think that rules in themselves are stupid.  Usually I find good reason for the rules.

The guys at the halfway house

Have to learn,

Then follow

 The rules.

They are given big brothers

To show them the ropes.

And still

Everyone counts

As a big brother.

Some squeeze their eyes shut

So they don*t see,

Put their fingers in their ears

Like children I know

Sing la la la.

There are infractions,

Then strikes for those who don*t follow

The rules of the house.

Three strikes and everyone knows

What that means.

Be on time

Make your bed

Clean up after yourself

If you don*t have a job,

Look for one.

Show

You are really looking.

Don*t ever drink or drug.

Today is there to be today,

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

The guys at the halfway house

Have rules to follow.

Like all of us, they sometimes forget

The rules.

Like all of us

Sometimes they think the rules

Don*t apply to them.