Forrest Gump

Thanks, Michael, for the image. It's good to hear from one who shares the path.

So many doctors,

More specialists

Every day.

Now I am home

Doing follow-ups.

Everything first requires

My primary care doctor

Who does not have space

In her schedule until

Late May.

Figure it out

Yourselves

I say.

I am learning to walk again

Like Forrest Gump.

I don’t imagine running

Will enter the picture.

I have many medications,

They fill a plastic shoe box.

I learned in rehab

I am not alone.

Dizzy

I am on a range of medications which have a possible side effect of dizziness. Thankfully one of these has been subtracted (hooray) and one has been added (boo? hooray? we'll see). The new one seems to offer a new sort of dizzy. Still I'm upright, and not seizury and maintaining my sense of humor (hooray). The world spins for each of us at a different speed.

This new kind of dizzy

Helps me see

The dizziness of others.

Everyone has

His own kind

Her own kind

Of dizzy.

The world spins

For each of us

At a different speed.

It’s when we pretend

It’s all the same

That we get in trouble.

Chronological spring

It feels different today.  OK, the anti-depressant helps a ton.  I could be the poster child for this medication.  But still.  It feels different today.  The snow dust feels like simple snow dust.  The cold feels temporary.  The light indeed slants different.  The animals put on the behavior of spring. Chronological spring arrives in less than a week.  I think it may actually come.

Perhaps it’s the date

Chronological spring

Just around the corner

Sure

There was a dust of snow last night

Sure

It is cold today

But sure

The light slants different

Chronological spring

Looms large

The doors open

To snow melted

Grass uncovered

The squirrels in back

Play leap and chase

No snow dust or cold

Deter the sure progression

Chronological spring

Will have its way

Chronological spring

Will surely

Have its way.

Hypomania

This begs the question:  What is hypomania for a born and bred Minnesotan?  Tomorrow will be round three in adventures in an anti-depressant.  Round two has me feeling pretty good.  I suspect round three will have me feeling even better.

There is no blood test

For this medication,

No blood pressure cuff

To indicate

The exact proper dose.

He says the indication

Of too much anti-depressant

Is possibly

Hypomania.

You are a long way from there

He says

A long way.

A little hypomania

Sounds like a good thing

To both of us.

I am from Minnesota:

The land of pretty good

And

Good enough.

There is no blood test

For this medication,

No brain cuff to determine

My mood

And thus

An exact proper dose.

I consider hypomania

Then cutting back

Just a smidge.

Side effect

There is a lot of money spent developing medications for all that ails us.  A lot of the research does not pan out (we don*t hear about it), but some of the meds end up being marketed for other things (hair growth comes to mind).  The side effect becomes the wanted outcome. Of course who decides wanted outcome?  My invisibility dream was actually quite pleasant.  I can also imagine how it could have been an absolute nightmare.

I dreamed I was invisible.

It was a side effect of a medication

I take.

The prescription bottle did not list invisibility

As a danger.

I knew it was a side effect

Anyway.

Every day we find medicine

That does not work

For the researched condition.

Instead there is potency found

For an entirely different part

Of the body.

Why not invisibility?

A rather pleasant side effect

All told,

Except perhaps when one would like

To be the life of the party.