Fully here

For Erik on his 29th birthday... fully here.

I remember the day before

You were born,

Sunny and muddy,

Labor in short spurts,

A walk through the student union.

You waited to arrive

Until your due date

Even then

You had to be coaxed

Into the world.

When you came

You were fully here

Yes

Fully here.

Presentation

Convergence

It’s raining

And thundering.

February 2

Groundhog  Day

Candlemas

Feast of the Presentation.

It’s raining.

My brain

rains

And thunders

In concert.

Groundhogs

In the Temple.

Jesus

In the Temple.

Simeon and Anna

In the Temple.

Rain and thunder

Lightning now

Too.

Here we are

All of us together

Present

Once again.

Background grackles

I would have slept in this morning, but it was important to attend church. 

Tonight I have chosen not to attend the renewal of ordination vows. I feel ordained enough to last the year. 

The fall light filters through trees, still green; the grackles are massing. I claim this spot, this particular spot, filled with background grackles.

Some moments are defined

By the choice we make

To be absent to one thing,

So we can be present

To another,

Even present to ourselves

On a late afternoon

In mid-October

Fall light with background grackles,

My beloved at work

In the other room

And me

Here

In this one.

I look at the days ahead

I learn a whole new set of things.  This does not mean forgetting to spread the love, even if only from the blue recliner.  There are different ways to practice presence.

I look at the days ahead

Name the things

That absolutely require

My presence,

Reschedule the rest,

Spread my love

Beyond and beyond

Save what I can.

Lose

What must be lost.

Remember to spread the love

Even if only

From the seat

Of my blue chair.

Think again

Thinking this morning of the people who have shown up in times of loss and times of joy.  The expected people, of course, but also the unexpected ones... like my high school friend*s mother who came to Dad*s funeral... for me... even though I hadn*t seen her in years.  I also think of the unexpected people who share my joys and show me the Kingdom spreads out way beyond any boundaries I have ever imagined.  When you think it doesn*t matter... think again.

When you think

It doesn*t matter:

Think again.

When you think

You won*t be missed:

Think again.

Your presence may be,

It may simply be,

That one thing that shows

One person

The whole world

Is aware

Of their loss,

Of their joy.

When you think

It doesn*t matter,

Consider your presence

Just might possibly be

A sign of the Kingdom

In attendance.

Think again.

Then

Think again.

We don*t eat the guests

In my counseling internship at Heartland, a small town/rural agency, I remember one of my first staff discussions involved the pleasures of hunting doves.  Here is a shout-out to Michael, my professor and founder of Heartland and hunter of doves... I am glad to hear you are entertaining grouse as guests in Montana.

The squirrels have worn a path

In the snow

In the backyard.

The path loops toward the back gate.

The ducks waddle

Across the way.

I wait for the cardinals to show

In the hedge.

Far away in Montana

My professor entertains grouse

In his snowy yard.

He calls them guests.

Four years ago I remember

Extensive conversation

Around hunting doves,

The pleasures,

The flavor.

I am glad his yard

Entertains grouse  

As guests.

It is hunting season but still:

Guests are guests.

We don*t eat the guests.

We simply enjoy

Their presence.

Presence

I watch and learn so much from my daughter.  In part I learn the things I missed growing up.  It is probably the way with mothers and daughters, maybe fathers and sons.  She is able to be powerfully present to people in a way I wish I*d learned a whole lot earlier.

  

There are lessons I did not learn

As a child,

A teenager.

I learned them late.

My daughter has different lessons,

Attends a different school.

The curriculum

Is not the same.

Still I hope she learns

That simply being present

To someone

Transcends the differences.

There are not always words

To speak,

Problems

To be resolved,

Things to be fixed.

Sometimes there is no agreement

Possible.

Still I hope she learns,

Early on,

The power

Of her presence.

First we learn to be blips

I am back to practicing.  It is tempting to look at other people and think they*ve got it made in the shade.  They*ve learned this business of being a human perfectly.  That*s just it, though: it*s a temptation to think this, and rarely is it true (if ever).  No matter what we*re working on, first we need to take that first step.  Before we learn to make a good three-point landing, we have to learn how to be blips on the radar.

First we learn how to be blips

On the radar,

How to be caught on the edge

Of the screen.

Then the approach,

Entrance into the air space.

We declare our presence to the air traffic

Controllers,

Radio in for the landing.

It takes a long time to learn the controls

The balance

How to keeping the plane level

In the air.

First we learn to be blips

Bi-planes

747s

We learn to be blips

On the radar.

We learn to radio our presence before anyone

Teaches us how to land.

We know it will be bumpy

At first.

It is always bumpy

At first.

But first

We learn to be blips.

He shows up all the time

All the time, Jesus is there.

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

                                                                                                             -Matthew 18:20

Jesus promised to be with us when we gather

By twos or threes,

Even many many more.

When there are a lot of us

It seems we lose track of Him

In the crowd.

Heck

Sometimes the intimacy

Of two or three

Causes me to forget.

Surely He can*t be here.

It*s only you and me

After all.

Jesus

Is not into the onlys.

He shows up

All the time.

A few years ago I dreamed

He showed up in my group therapy,

Walked in,

Sat down

Unwrapped a tuna fish sandwich

Apologized that He hadn*t had time

For lunch.

He ate fish for the disciples

After the Resurrection

To show he was still alive.

Fish seems to be

A theme.

I try to remember

To set out an extra chair

For Jesus

Wherever I am.

At the very least

It is a good reminder

That Jesus is there.

He promised.

Jesus always keeps his promises.

He shows up

All the time.

Presence

Sometimes it*s enough just to show up.

I found out last year

And this:

Sometimes people feel better

Simply knowing you*re available

In the church basement,

At 2 in the afternoon

Perhaps,

Or by phone

Or when you write something

You deem

Obvious

But you write it anyway.

Sometimes people

Feel comforted

When you just show up.

Period.

And you offer no words

At all.