Grout with sand

Today the upstairs bathroom is being grouted with two different kinds of grout.  Who knew there were so many kinds?  I remember my parishioner from years ago who regaled me with stories of all the different kinds of paint and coatings required for bridges.  Why does it surprise me that grout is as varied?  

My love has gone to the tile store.

It seems the tile guy

Needs more grout,

Grout with sand

For the floor.

Gray.

It seems

There are almost

As many kinds and colors

Of grout

As stars in the sky

Pebbles on the beach,

Whichever metaphor

For abundance

We choose.

Yesterday the acupuncture lady

Told me

She is grout too.

She connects people

In different ways

Than I do.

I am grout.

Perhaps even grout with sand.

I have company

Jaws

Today is acupuncture treatment #3.  Already I have learned new things by paying attention to new things.  It seems I store tension in my jaw.  Jaw exercises have not been part of visits to the physician or therapy or working out twice a week.  Maybe the dentist might have said something, but I don*t grind my teeth at night, so probably not.  It*s not a surprise that blocked ears and blurry eyes might have some relation to tense jaw. It*s all connected, after all.  Meanwhile, I open and close my mouth like a fish, and remember that a smile might be therapeutic to me, as well as those I encounter.

Already I learn new things:

It seems the tension in my jaw

Contributes to blocked ears,

Blurred eyes.

When I exercise my jaw

By smiling,

Whenever I remember

To smile,

The world lightens

My ears clear

The blur that still remains

Softens to new possibility.

When I pay enough attention

To open and close my mouth

Like a fish,

Usually in private,

My ears clear,

My eyes

 Seek out

New things.

Focus

Part of the reason to try acupuncture was to get more of a handle on the blurry vision thing.  It is more than noting when I would feel safe to drive, and when not.  Some of the pieces are more obvious than others.  Heat and bright light bring it on.  Of course, like everything else, good sleep and hydration help.  And of course, less stress.  This morning, watching the birds along with the cat, I am focused and clear.  I am also grateful I never got the pot planted in front.  It makes the perfect dust bath.

On mornings like this,

Slightly cool,

I open

Every open-able door,

Listen to what speaks

At 10:03.

The cat slowly moves

To the door.

He listens to the sparrows

In the front,

Barely moves,

Slight twitch

To his tail.

It occurs to me

I can see

Perfectly well

At 10:05

As I watch the cat.

The sparrows take turns.

They use the planter

As a dust bath.

Now the cat notices.

He is focused

At 10:11

Ready to leap.

He can see

Perfectly well.

The sparrows bathe in dust

Only for him.

Acupuncture reflection number two

It*s funny.  There is some alternative medicine I will try, and some I probably won*t.  I grew up with a strong bias against chiropractors, for example.  I will probably not try seeing a chiropractor, even though I am 57 and it*s been a long time since I was a child.  Acupuncture, on the other hand, seems different, more open to possible change.  It also occurs to me we never know when we experience the placebo effect.  Probably a good thing.

A younger person I know

Told me yesterday

In a helpful voice,

With a virtual veritable pat

On my head,

I might gain a lot

From the placebo effect

Of acupuncture.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

I still wonder

About the woman at the well

And Jesus.

He told her everything

She had ever done

Or at least

She remembered it

That way.

I am aware I remember

Two particular things:

The attention paid to everything

I said

The attention paid to everything

I did not say.

Acupuncture: Learnings: a beginning

It occurs to me as I reflect on yesterday*s experience... this may be part of what I do in preparation for the pilgrimage to Iona next month.  Acupuncture is a completely new experience for me, though there is resonance to what I do as a priest and as a therapist.   And... I will probably get a white noise machine for my office next to the nursery school.

First off:

Attention is paid

To different things.

There is more space here

In this tiny office

At the back of a hair salon.

The chairs we sit in

Are exactly the same.

The white noise machine

Covers over the sounds

Of the aesthetician next door.

Now I know

What an aesthetician does.

The needles don*t really hurt.

The whole time I am flat on my back,

Knees raised,

The acupuncturist pays attention

To my body,

To what she hears

Or sees.

She tells me

At the end.

As I walk back to my office,

I remember the woman at the well,

Jesus telling her

Everything she had ever done.

I am suddenly

The woman at the well.

My vision is clearer.

New instructions

Today I have my first acupuncture appointment.  Why?  It seemed right.  It seemed there might be something I may learn about the blurred vision and dizziness with acupuncture.  I understand the loose clothing and eating lunch and filling out paperwork.  Not brushing my tongue???  Not so familiar.  I remember Naaman, a great man in high favor, who sent a messenger to Elisha so he might be cured of his leprosy.  His instructions to follow? Wash in the Jordan seven times.  I remember Naaman said: Aren*t my own rivers good enough?  (2 Kings, chapter 5).  Right. Me and Naaman, brother and sister under the skin.  I did not brush my tongue.

Today I try something new.

I will wear loose clothes.

I will eat lunch.

I will fill out the paperwork.

I will arrive on time.

So far, so good.

I will not brush my tongue.

This has never been an instruction

I needed to follow

Before.

It seems I may need

to hear

New instructions.
Then follow them.