God is more real than anything I know

About this time 28 years ago I was sitting with the Examining Chaplains of the Diocese of Indianapolis.  The other candidates that year had sustained all seven areas on their General Ordination Exams.  I sustained six, and *neutralled* theology.  This meant that I was the central focus.  It was a long, and now that I look back, random, almost pointless meeting.  Since that time I have learned an immense amount, read countless books, served in a wide variety of settings.  I have grown into the Priesthood, and am blessed six ways to Sunday.  I suspect I would still *neutral* theology.

Years ago now

I took the exams for ordination.

Despite classes on Rahner and Pannenburg,

I did not pass the theology exam.

I did not fail

Either.

Years ago

Being tested,

I received a neutral

In theology.

The readers could not tell

Either way.

Twenty eight years later I know

I have never been a systematic

Theologian.

The chances are close to nil

I ever will be.

The exact relation of Father to Son to Holy Spirit

Has never been clear.

All are real.

All dance together as one

A circle dance which weaves

In and out.

Before seminary

I was asked if God speaks to me.

I said I had seen no burning bushes

But this felt right.

Now, when I sit with people I often know

What it seems God is saying to them.

I feel the Holy in thin places.

I can even say the Creed without crossing my fingers

Most times.

Over the years I have learned obedience.

This life in Christ is anything but systematic,

At least as far as I can tell.

It is God*s system

That matters.

I follow it as best I know and continue to experience

Amazing comeuppance

Still more amazing adventure.

Often, I am surprised.

I am no systematic theologian.

If I took an exam today

I believe I would still register

Neutral.

And God is more real than anything I know.