Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I am not done yet

When I was on Iona, my beloved told me that the Bishop wanted to know if I was having spiritual experiences.  I have never seen so many rocks as when I was there.  I have never seen so many rainbows at once.  I have rarely seen the Milky Way as clear... certainly not three nights in a row.  Sometimes I get spiritual experience mixed up with certainty.  I came back certain that I am not done yet.  It was not quite the spiritual experience I had hoped for, even when I didn*t think I was hoping for any particular thing.  Still... it counts.

I envy those
Who know
The next exact thing.
I wish it was ordered
Like that
In my life.
The white pebbles
Gleam in the moonlight.
They show the next step
And the next
Beyond it.
The track laid out
In the moonlight,
Sometimes starlight,
The white pebbles strewn
In order of importance:
One path obvious
One path ordered.
Instead I find the rocky pebbled beach,
The Milky Way clear
With so many stars
It spans the sky
A spilled ribbon
Of light.
I pick a rock from the beach
Locate one star
Is this the one?
Or this one?
Or this?
I envy those who know
The next rock
The next star.
All I know
I am not done yet.

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