I am not done yet

When I was on Iona, my beloved told me that the Bishop wanted to know if I was having spiritual experiences.  I have never seen so many rocks as when I was there.  I have never seen so many rainbows at once.  I have rarely seen the Milky Way as clear... certainly not three nights in a row.  Sometimes I get spiritual experience mixed up with certainty.  I came back certain that I am not done yet.  It was not quite the spiritual experience I had hoped for, even when I didn*t think I was hoping for any particular thing.  Still... it counts.

I envy those

Who know

The next exact thing.

I wish it was ordered

Like that

In my life.

The white pebbles

Gleam in the moonlight.

They show the next step

And the next

Beyond it.

The track laid out

In the moonlight,

Sometimes starlight,

The white pebbles strewn

In order of importance:

One path obvious

One path ordered.

Instead I find the rocky pebbled beach,

The Milky Way clear

With so many stars

It spans the sky

A spilled ribbon

Of light.

I pick a rock from the beach

Locate one star

Is this the one?

Or this one?

Or this?

I envy those who know

The next rock

The next star.

All I know

Is

I am not done yet.